Virtual dating during a pandemic:
Lucky in love? Or a digital disaster?
Let’s face it what a rubbish time to be single with no events or opportunities to meet people in person all social interaction has been via phone screens and virtual zoom parties. Unless you have a job like mine – where you work in a bubble with 70 people who regularly get to socialise together! Certainly no dating there though. Never has there been a better time to be a seafarer in terms of being able to socialise in groups. Lucky me. Yachting is one huge social mingle from people around the World – we are tested regularly and have heavy quarantines fear not & dating is last on my list in my work environment as I prefer to keep it professional.
However, with so many apps out there it is now easier than ever to connect with beautiful faces around the World - or on your doorstep. At first I disliked the 2D visuals but after a while I learnt to love the virtual dating World. One thing is for sure you can’t judge too heavily by the first picture, nor by just the pictures alone – you have to read the captions & send a few messages to really suss out if it is worth pursuing. I background stalk on other social links – all part of the vetting process to get a feel for who they really are. Dating digitally is easy though – it’s less impulsive, less pressure – you find out who is willing to put the effort in and those that aren’t. See who matches your values and puts in the effort. Who is prepared to be patient, doesn’t come across as needy or only after one thing.
You have to make interesting conversation & can easily whittle out the whingers. Figure out the ones that are playing the field & focussed on other girls – 'cos they are putting their attention elsewhere. Anyone saying “im not looking for a penpal” see ya – they are obviously only after one thing and will immediately be dismissed on my part. If you can’t be bothered to write a message then why should I even bother to get myself all dressed up for a one sided effort on a video chat? NEXT. Put the effort in or don’t because the chances you will be around for a date post lockdown is looking slim.
We have slowly gotten used to the digital dating World. With apps like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge & Luxy – it has become easier than ever to meet people who want the same as you do. Although I have never been on Tinder in my life & Luxy really is not all that elite the calibre is far below average on there. Dating on apps has been around for years & having to learn about them in 2019 was such a shock to the swiping culture we have entered into. I literally had no idea having come out of a seven year relationship.
It is no wonder relationships are failing, divorce rates are climbing as guys are willing to commit with horny girls ready to say yes just a click away. One thing is for certain on my part, long distance does not work & my last failed relationship was true to that. Out of sight out of mind. I guess for ours to have lasted 7 years over long distance was a huge accomplishment. Nevertheless I think through the pandemic it has given us time to be honest with what we are looking for & connect to those with a similar mentality. We all like the idea of company. Question is have you found somebody who wants a relationship out of loneliness? Or a genuine being who is ready to step his dating game up to commitment level?
Online dating means you can really filter through all the s**t. Speed date on apps, if you like the person, you can step it up to a video call to see if there truly is any spark or chemistry. I think a relationship is a huge time investment & not one to enter lightly, although I am so ready for the next one. I am far from rushing to get into the commitment of another relationship. As a true romantic I hope the next one is my last so why rush to get it?
I think 90% of singletons love the idea of being in a relationship – after a lonely year stuck in houses missing what we don’t have. Being separated from friends & family it has been an emotional rollercoaster. This last year has been about finding self-happiness – not relying on somebody else to do it for you. This last year on a personal level has been a mirror of self-reflection. Learning from past mistakes. All in all I am super lucky I have a great bunch of friends who have supported me through some challenging times these last 2 years. I am very grateful. A few of the girls I met recently in a new job – I’m adamant we will be friends for life. Friends will always be around longer than lovers - so don't take their friendship for granted. During this year connections have grown closer, networks smaller, yet deeper. We will only have stronger connections on the other side of this pandemic.
Once we are back as social humans again – at weekly pub gatherings, socials & work events time will tell if that one connection you made still stands post-lockdown – or if they get bored and tempted by a new shinier object that flutters by.
In my eyes the pandemic has given us an opportunity to connect with people we perhaps may never have met in the real World. We can connect to the ones who are looking for the same things as us, who share the same values. If there’s sexual attraction too then it’s a match made in heaven right?! Of course that won’t be known until dating resumes in June.
All in all I am loving dating from a afar. It shows patience & persistence – two key elements for any relationship. You want somebody who remains consistent with their affection not just two weeks of passion messaging – a quick fire to start & a quick flame to go out. If you know what you want in life you can manifest it into your World. Manifesting does not happen overnight though. Be patient & you might be pleasantly surprised.
Enjoy the last few months of lockdown…hopefully they’ll be the last for a lifetime. Happy dating singletons.